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The Desire to be Right


When you can give unconditional love, you will find yourself feeling full instead of empty.
In relationships of any kind, one must stifle the desire to be right.
Practice this, and you will find love instead of anger.
Allow space in your togetherness.
This can be between lovers, friends, students, married, or single – in other words, anytime there are two or more instead of one.
The more space you have in a relationship the more the relationship will flourish.
Always remember that you are not the boss of any relationship.
Your friendship comes about giving, not demanding.

You do not have to understand why some else wants to do whatever they want to do.
To have a higher state of consciousness between you and those you love deeply will be viewed eventually as real magic of spirituality.
You can create wonderful relationships by offering only love in your life together.
Do not be filled with doubt about yourself and others, most of this is none of your business.
Those of you who must be right cannot find true happiness.
Individuals will enter and exit your life many times over.

Do not constantly wonder about why they did what they did.
You do not have to have an extreme happiness with everyone you meet.
Visualize yourself sending out love to all whom you meet.
The only limitations you have are those that you put on yourself.
Stop forcing yourself to try to make others think as you think.
Give your friends the great love that is in the center of your being; when you are about to be seduced by the ego to strike out, purposely pay no attention to the thoughts your ego sends you.
Take time to say to yourself, “It is just a thought, it is just a thought.”
Start this moment being the one who cannot be abused by words.

Know this, and let go of conflicts in any of your relationships.
Use the power of your heart not to demand any outcome in a discussion.
Stop pursuing what you do not want.
Keep your mouth quiet before reacting.
Reach out with love.
Expect nothing and give everything.
The ego sends you expectations of how others should be.
It is truly none of your business how one acts; your business is how you react toward others.
Stop focusing on what you want others to feel or do.
Focus on your elf and the beauty that you feel when you give love.

When I would come to Big Henry under the boardwalk where I grew up, crying that someone hurt me bad or made fun of me, he would smile and say, “Girl child, did God tell you these things?”
I would smile and say, “No, Big Henry.”
Then he said, “For God’s sake, stop complaining and just move on!”
He made me laugh, and at times he made me cry.
And when I would tell him this he would say to me, “Girl child, nothing or nobody can make you do anything! No one owns your soul; your soul belongs to you and to God.”
Growing up being the only white child with so many homeless and beautiful African Americans, I learnt more before I was nine than I did my whole life.
No matter how much I have served my whole life, I could never give as much as they gave that little girl whom they called ‘girl child.’
And so I learnt how to be with people who thought differently from me and to appreciate everything they had to give or teach me.
They sacrificed their lives for the little white girl in their care.

So start feeling full by giving fullness to others, and get rid of the desire to be right.
This only brings pain to yourself and to others, for if you are always right, then others are always wrong.
As Big Henry would say, “And that ain’t right, just ain’t right.”
You know when I write about those days under the boardwalk during and after World War II, the words just flow from me as if I am not writing at all.
Every word means so much to me sixty-two years later.
Nothing is ever wasted.
Everything is a teaching, only if we can truly listen, without having to agree or not agree.
I love you all so very much.

Ma Jaya


One Response

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